Sunday, March 30, 2008

Mighty Ducks Camping 2008

And the list of top 3s is as follows:

LAST MINUTE SUPRISES

1st Place:

A: “Awak kena cancel laa….”

B: “Apsal plak…?”

A: “Takde cikgu nak jadi guru pengiring, sebab cikgu yang sepatutnya pergi dah pergi program lain sebab ingat cancel”

B: “Aik apsal pulak cancel..?”

A: “Hari tu awak cakap sebab tak de bas, jadi mungkin kena cancel.. jadi kami ingat cancel la”

B: “Saya cakap hari tu, since koleq tak boleh bagi bas, let us find a bus. If tak dapat jugak then we have to cancel la. Tapi we did get the bus and the way it should be, unless we communicate in writing that it’s called off, it stands like that laa”

A & B for a while: “%GH&^$#$(()MMK))(&&^^$$###%*&&…”

B: “Macam mana pun cikgu, saya tak leh cancel. If we can make time and Chamat balik all the way from Beijing, other people put aside other commitments for budak2 ni, it looks really bad if we have to cancel sebab tak de cikgu pengiring. What are we going to tell the boys and other old boys?”

A: “OK la kira jadi la macam mana pun”


2nd Place:

“Kenapa ramai orang kat sini? Wong, aku ingat we’ve booked? Takkan double booking lagi”

“Dik, errrr why ramai orang? Where are we going to camp?”

“Alamak Bang, diorang patut check out pagi ni, tapi tak check out lagi. Abang boleh camp kat sini, or kat sana, or kat sana – kemudian petang ni dah tak de orang”

“Why laaaaa kena ada surprises macam ni”



3rd Place:

“We are at Ipoh. Tesco opens at 830 am so just nice nak shopping barang2” – SMS, 659 am

“Laaaa tak cekap la macam ni ****. I need badut here to run everything. I also need you guys to get the tong gas. And I wanted to brief you guys as all of u x pegi satu meeting pun. Now it’s only me and kno to run handle everything. U guys hvnt done camping n x know how humungous everything. Seriously I wish u guys didn’t go for ngeteh ngn fadli, dat cud ve waited. Teambuilding once a year la. Anyway I’ll call u in half an hour for instruction” – SMS, 714 am

“Chamat, where are u now? What? Kat Sungei Buloh? I need you around now… Hmm tak pe lah try to get here asap”

“Korang punya pasal la, ***** dah frantic and expected me to be there sekarang”






FROM DISASTER TO BLESSING

1st Place:

Hujan turun mencurah-curah (and tak de kena mengena ngan nyanyian sumbang budak2 tu because this started way in the afternoon). It didn’t stop dari tengahari sampai malam to the point that most of us memang basah kuyup throughout.

Because tent budak2 ni semua dah banjir – literally naik air; tak sampai hati la pulak nak suruh anak2 orang ni tido dalam air. Ada yang kena pneumonia lak. So bagi lah diorang tido kat chalet.

Masa kat chalet nil ah banyak perangai yang kitorang pick up nak buat modal nak conduct Common Room/Firedrill ha ha ha.




2nd Place:

Sebab hujan mencurah2, teambuilding game “Human Transporter” yang sepatutnya dibuat tengah padang tak leh buat and kena buat kat dining area. Sebab lantainya simen, tak dopet lak nak buat line atas tu, so kena la pakai tali raffia buat border; yang budak2 ni kena lompat. That added another dimension to the game which the boys seemed to enjoy a lot more.





3rd Place:

Wong tak de! Wong tak de! Mula2 punya la jugak panic Bapak2 Itik sebab satu-satunya instructor bertauliah untuk benda2 outdoor ni tak de, Wong had to be around his dad who was undergoing operations that weekend so had to cancel last minute.

Sebelum2 ni, semua camping kena ikut schedule dia. Kalau dia pi backpacking kat hujung dunia mana2 ntah, kena laa kitorang tunggu. Dah le nak match ngan koleq timetable and our work commitment, macam nak rak planning.

But now ha ha kitorang dah tahu we don’t need Wong after all. Lepas ni teambuilding x yah tunggu Wong ha ha ha.





PALING SYOK

1st Place:

Panggil budak2 Form 4 (Holland, Arip, Kwang, Farid, Meor, Mungir and Kalou) lepas suruh semua junior jalan towards the entrance of the camp (2 km away). Suruh diorang berdiri elok2, tangan dekat belakang and tunduk bawah. Then start maki hamun.

Ha ha Common Room zaman dulu pun tak macam ni, dulu at least kena maki ngan Form 5, ni kena maki dengan people twice your age.

“You guys ni fail la. &*#*%^. We are not convinced you are serious. You have attitude problem”.
“Diorang tak paham kau cakap macam tu. Be blunt je. Korang ni KURANG AJAR! Tak dengar cakap. Main-main”.

Lepas tu kitorang buat deal ngan budak2 ni.

“You choose. Korang nak kitorang stay lagi ngan korang tak? Tak de orang peduli kat korang or your game, kitorang je yang akan ada for your game”

“Nak”

“OK then this is the deal. You have one month, we will observe perangai korang. If korang tak berubah by end of SBP North Zone – we will walk out, or we will sack korang semua and kitorang akan hantar budak2 F2 pergi national level of U18 next year”

Throughout the whole ordeal (for them) aku punya lah nak tergelak of having to do this at this age. And punyalah kesian tengok muka2 budak ni kena marah.

Tengah kena lecture tu pulak hujan pun turun. Ha ha ha basah kuyup budak2 ni kena lecture dalam hujan, while we all lepak bawah pondok. Ha ha ha I should have taped that, tapi tak sampai hati.

“Sorry bang”.

“Don’t be sorry or apologise ngan kitorang. Apologise ngan F5 and F2. Diorang yang dok cover korang while korang main2. As it is korang dah completely lost their respect. Work hard to get that respect”

And dengan muka berkobar2 budak2 ni jalan dalam hujan for 2 km nak cari bas yang sedang menunggu.




2nd Place:

BBQ and karaoke that night. Budak2 tu punya singing tak yah cakap la kan, you just have to watch the video to judge. But to see budak2 ni enjoying themselves and escaped from the taxing routine in boarding school (once in a while) was a pure joy.

It’s not we want them to be as gila2 as us (that is not advisable), yet sometimes budak2 ni uptight sangat. It’s not the kind of childhood I wish for anyone. We want them to have fun, so that night at least they had fun.







3rd Place:

I was not around during the morning session (Explorace) on the second day, as I have to run a Career Discovery Workshop in MCKK.

When I came back, all the trainers requested for an EGM.

“Ni macam EGM yang Ku Li mintak ni”.

“Hah? Korang nak gulingkan aku ke ni? Bosannya for the first time aku tak leh nak membebel banyak sbb I don’t know what’s going on”.

Maka EGM diantara itik2 gemuk pun diconvenekan.

“Kitorang dah nak give up laa ngan Form 4 ni… &^%%$&*(^%$”

Unlike UMNO, maka perbahasan berjalan dengan baik. Masing2 bagi pendapat and finally we reached a conclusion – ha ha ha bagi diorang another chance and buat Common Room.

The thing is, deep inside all of us saying gle kat budak2 ni and ada orang go through withdrawal syndrome nya if we were to abandon them now.

So far all went well. The thing is the first batch (Class of 2008) was nearly perfect in every sense – but what we sometimes forget is that budak2 ni memang budak2 baik and top students kat koleq pun. Tapi not every batch’s hockey players macam tu. So we have to accept them as they are la, and work with them.

The F4s are not to blame – if you grow up in koleq nya environment yang tak de fire drill or Common Room, and stay in one batch forever, what do you expect. They don’t even know some of the things they do tu orang tak suka.





WHAT MADE IT ALL WORTH IT

1st Place:

Looking at how much budak2 Class of 2008 have changed. Masa mula2 start pun macam ni jugak. Ada macam2 hal, each dengan perangai masing2. I’ve written about this before.

The boys now are super efficient and very matured. They know what to do, what are their roles. They play the role of abang to the juniors, they look after the juniors.

Sangat2 lah eager in all the modules assigned to them. Diorang kena organise module Explorace ngan Badut & KNO and they participated with ideas, executed the whole thing with near perfection.

Looking at them pun kitorang rasa sejuk hati and proud.

If every batch who goes through projek bodoh anak2 itik ni comes out like this – well who gives a damn diorang menang hoki ke tak. We have touched their lives and they were not hesitant to show it to us.




2nd Place:

“Salam.. Abg kitorng bru blek training.. New spirit. Mmg patut pon kitorng kena marah. We all sdr prngi we all cm2 tp tngl xde orng nk tgr n beri prhatian. Thanx 4 da ‘adat istiadat’ in the rain. Assalamualaikum” – SMS, 23/3/2008 19:28:13

“Salam.. Lth x? Sure lth gler kn smlm? Kim slm kt sume coach tau. Xpcialy abg chamat yg dr jauh 2.. N not 4get abg badut coz both of them generous ble snyum” – SMS, 24/3/2008 17:05:57

“Salam.. ble all da picture n video nk msk kt dlm blog 9094.. Kalo bley mskkn tau.. I want 2 keep all them 4 my souvenir 4 all ur kindness =p ..” – SMS, 24/3/2008 19:16:57




3rd Place:

Kitorang konvoi sampai ke Tapah, then berhenti kat Dunkin Donuts kat Tapah.

We do this all the time – the withdrawal syndrome (“camping blues”) memang payah nak hilang right after habis.

Borak2 pasal budak2 tu, gelak all the things yang dibuat. Sometimes I am not sure mana yang lagi meaningful – the close bond dengan anak2 itik; or the close bond dengan bapak2 itik. It’s like koleq days all over again – so focused and hell bent on achieving a goal and everyone worked hard and contributed.

I guess the best part is that all of us have matured and each time aku tengok Chibiok datang bawak makanan for budak2 ni (and us), it tickles my heart. This is someone yang masa kat koleq dulu the joke was – “sepuluh kau cakap, sebelas orang tak percaya” or to quote Shahamarba “kalau jumpa Chibiok ngan ular, kau pukul Chibiok dulu”.

Of course the joke was always on me la…

Chibiok: “Kau tahu tak sebab apa Rough paling last dalam convoy? Sebab dia patah balik pi mintak maaf ngan budak2 tu”






Thank you very much to all – bapak2 itik, anak2 itik. It makes our respective lives more meaningful; the hectic office routine draws too much energy and we need this to rejuvenate.

Next stop – SBP North Zone.

NOTE

Of course yang patutnya masuk list on its own is Epit's "aaaghhhhhhhhh aku terdelete semua gambar aku ambik hari tu". For the record, Epit dengan camera besor (SLR nya) and gaya2 paparazzi meniarap kiri meniarap kanan tak sudah2 ambik gambar hari tu. But when it comes to showing the photos...... AWAK MEMANG FAIL LAAA FECT EPIT.

KNO's version is here, more photos here.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A SHOOTING STAR: ADLAN BENAN OMAR (1973 – 2008)

Much has been written about the late Adlan Benan Omar (Mohd Shah, Class of 90) and you only need to Google him to find out. This account is not intended as an obituary of his colourful life; rather a reflection of the 17 years that I spent with him from the days of Malay College Kuala Kangsar.

PART I

“.. so how did you know him?”
“..well, he was appointed late as a prefect so one assembly, there was this huge prefect receiving a standing ovation...”


The conversation took place between me and Rizal (an ex-Cambridge lad who look after Ben all this while) on 15th January 2008 at the UMMC around 10 pm while Ben was having his routine dialysis. By then it was very clear that he (Ben) might not be around for long unless miracles happened.


I would remember that conversation with Rizal until my last breath, because despite our individual closeness to Ben, Rizal and I actually did not communicate much. I love him for looking after Ben all this while – a responsibility that I know was partly mine all along but was very bad at it; he (Rizal) must have felt the closeness by virtue of my closeness to Ben. But our relationship was awkward to say the least.

So the fact that we started to reflect the initial days that we knew Ben somehow signaled the resignation that the ‘end’ was near. It was poignant because both Rizal and I knew by then that it was a matter of days before it could happen.

My first recollection of Ben was a ceremony to appoint one Adlan Benan Omar as a prefect in my first month in MCKK. It was memorable because the name “Benan” was uncommon; plus he received a standing ovation while making his way to the stage.

Over the months, Ben had a lasting impression on me because of his oratory skills. To others in my batch, he was one of the kindest prefect-on-duty (together with Azizan Din) during the prep time inspection. Unlike some prefects who would tear our desk cover or punished us for the littlest mistake, Ben spent more time correcting our English (e.g. once someone wrote “Silent is golden” after which he spent some time explaining why it should have been “silence”).

It was these two traits – his oratory (and intellect) and kindness that eventually made us some sort of a tag team in many adventures that we had had together; from the college days all the way to the reformasi experience and beyond.




PART II

“..Third, if the objective is to win PPM vicariously, I and Dany have already done it in 1992. To us, it was a greater achievement because of the long dearth of MCKK win (since Sefudin Dolloh in 1980), we had putty to work with (Badak), a great debater (Kechoque) and a turtle. So there's really nothing for us to gain out of all this, except more bother. Lagipun kitorang MCOBA and all MCOBAs are sworn brothers, betul tak, Shahrol?”

- email 31 March 2004, discussing the merit of coaching MCKK debating teams


I had been a school debater since my primary school days – apparently I never know when to shut up. In MCKK, each year the senior debaters would carry out a “screen test” to select new debaters for his batch to progress to represent koleq in future years.

As a Form 1, I never knew my “potential” (as it was referred to by Ben over and over again in my junior years) but I realized a string of interest from the senior debaters of my ability to speak; after a few months in college. While some others were more forthcoming (e.g. Dany wanted me to go to PPM – those days it was unheard of that a F1 could go to PPM); Ben kept a distance for a while. I remember that he smiled all the time when I debated, though he rarely said much.


But as a debater, he was to inspire a generation of debaters that MCKK had produced. I remember the inter-house competition in 1990 – on Saturday night he represented MS in the English section and won; the next night he won the Malay section. He was the first bilingual debater I met in my life and he was legendary in both.

In the 90s, the PPM was won repeatedly by RMC helmed by one Arulkanda Kandasamy. Later on we crossed path as the three of us were all in UKEC in the UK – and Arulkanda (the legend of the Malaysian debating circles) used to marvel endlessly at Ben’s debating prowess.

Ben went to Abingdon in Oxfordshire for his A-Level; became the first Malay head boy elected by popular votes and in his final year, won a UK-wide debate representing Abingdon.

Throughout the 2 years he was at Abingdon, our correspondence increased. He used to write on monthly basis to me – encouraging me to work hard to recapture PPM (which was last won by the newly minted YB of Temerloh, Datuk Saifuddin Abdullah in 1980). PPM by then was becoming a Holy Grail that every debater in MCKK spent our lifetime trying to win.

The friendship (between a legendary figure by MCKK’s standard and a junior who barely uttered 10 words to him while he was in MCKK) grew as our letters went back and forth (and this was during the snail mail era between Oxfordshire and Kuala Kangsar).

In 1992, I had my first ‘cap’ representing MCKK as a first speaker – a Form 3 leading a debating team, which was not so common in those days. It was a combination of Ben’s “wasiat” to the teachers as well as the teachers’ own pragmatism to promote meritocracy and break the stranglehold of “seniors-come-first” mentality. The correspondence increased as I kept sending him request for assistance with our points. He never failed to come back with a list of issues and facts for us to consider in our debates.

Nobody paid attention to us – not budak koleq, not the old boys, not even the school – as we were a bunch of first timers. Most of the attention went to the Cagers and English debaters. We were expected to lose in the first round.


Suddenly against all odds we broke the curse of 12 years and went to the final against the defending champion – all thanks to Ben. Fortunately the final was carried out annually during the summer break, so he came back from Oxfordshire to coach us.

It was only in August 1992 – after 2 years’ worth of correspondence – that I had a decent conversation with him for the first time. I remember he drove me (he was 19 years old then) in his old Saga to buy food to and fro Sekolah Alam Shah (where we were staying) throughout the preparation and looked after us.

He would explain the issue and then related the issue to the facts – so that we (myself, Badak Class of 92 as the second speaker and Kechoq Class of 93 as the third speaker) really understood the flow of thoughts. Then he would drill us with the rebuttal training – a bombardment of rebuttal upon rebuttal impromptu to train our “reflex” when dealing with opponent’s arguments. In the end, more than 90% of our text and argument was his – the only remaining 10% was what we had to come up for ourselves if the opponents went off-track in their arguments.

That year we won PPM and the jubilant celebration by the present and old boys at Dewan Muktamar that night was one of the most important memories of my childhood. In a single sweep – I owed Ben for the rest of my life; for giving us the opportunity to lift the trophy when all other better debaters than us had failed year after year before that.

One thing that I must mention here is Ben’s reputation as a walking encyclopedia. I know budak koleq of the later years would refer to this or that person as a walking encyclopedia – but if they had met Ben, they would have known what a real walking encyclopedia is. After all this is a guy who began to read when he was 3-4 years old and by Standard 6, I was told he had memorized the Malaysian Constitution. Gedebe (Baharuddin Hassan, the eccentric History teacher) used to tell me how he would never bother to mark Ben’s SPM paper, instead he would rather ask Ben to pick the mark himself.

So when both of us decided to take “sabbatical” break from partisan politics (having spent 5-6 years of our time during the early reformasi and keADILan days) – it was natural that we went back to coach MCKK debating teams, upon request by our ex-teachers.

From 2004 onwards, Ben and I spent a lot of our time with the present debaters. Ben never missed the team’s training or tournaments despite his failing health. He was a much better coach than I was since the team he coached made it to the final each year at the UIA National Debate Championship (in 2004, 2005 and 2006) while mine always crashed at earlier rounds. In 2004, he led the whole contingent of the coaches (8 of us altogether) for a week in Kangar for the PPM – we rented a bungalow and spent days and nights with the boys and teachers.

By the time we finally won UIA championship in April 2007, Ben was too sick to be present. I had tears – not so much because we won, but I had wished for him to be there as it would have meant a lot for him. He made his last visit to MCKK for a debate training in July 2007 – he collapsed while watching the boys doing a mock debate; then recovered and delivered his final speech to the present debaters. He passed away about 6 months later.




Looking back, there were times I felt guilty that I dragged Ben to coach the boys when I knew he was not fit physically. Yet I did the boys a great favour that they had the privilege to know him and drew inspiration from him, the way I was. In the final analysis, I want to believe that both Ben and I did not have regret for the last 4 years we spent coaching the MCKK debating teams.

I am sure that the present and future MCKK debating teams will always remember the Debating Master who single-handedly transformed our fortune and set in motion the discipline and tradition that defines MCKK debaters for many years to come.

PART III

“.. long ago I shot my bow, Where it fell I didn’t know, Much later in a huge great oak, I picked it up still unbroke..”

- letter from Abingdon, 16 April 1992


Ben was always a man in hurry, knowing that his health would be a limitation in the future. In his many correspondences to me when I was a junior, he would share his frustration of the unfairness of the world, of the resolve that we must have to do the right thing in life, of the burden to lead. He was very concerned about having people who would continue his “fight” for setting things right – whatever I understood that to be then.



Much of my worldview in MCKK during my formative years was influenced by Ben’s idea of “fighting for a just cause”. This romanticism later on plunged us into other things; which were to have a profound effect on the direction of his life.

My decision to shun prefectship against everyone’s expectation and chose the KPKM path was rooted from our shared belief that leadership is partly a question of legitimacy. An appointed prefect can never have the same legitimacy compared to an elected Union’s EXCO.

He encouraged me to explore the unthinkable in MCKK. By mid of Form 4 – as an anti-establishment KPKM EXCO poised to play a bigger role when I was in Form 5 – our discussion on what I should do when I was in Form 5 grew more intense in our correspondence. I bounced a lot of ideas on what I thought at the time the necessity to undo the “power structure” in MCKK dominated by the Prefects Board - he always gave feedback and advices on the need to be magnanimous and considerate when dealing with opponents.

I received an ESSO scholarship to USA before I sat for my SPM; however I went on to take PETRONAS’ scholarship solely because I wanted to join Ben in the UK. By that time, Ben was already in Cambridge reading History and Law.

We always discussed the “adventures” of doing something different for the good of the people; so when eventually he founded UKEC (a coalition of Malaysian students associations in the UK) I got very excited. Through UKEC we hoped we could change the landscape of student activism in the UK – from one that was partisan and a mere vehicle of the political masters in Malaysia (e.g. Kelab UMNO, Kelab MIC, Hizbi) – to one that promoted intellectualism, openness and the spirit of volunteerism.

Ben achieved with UKEC in two years what other student leaders before his time could not achieve for a decade. He alleviated the voice of students at the national arena so much so that ministers began to court UKEC (and directly him). It was very human to be impressed with Ben’s talent and ability, so before long he was very much the darling of the establishment (long before one KJ – not the genuine KJ from Tumpat – splashed the headlines). By 1996 – UKEC counted among its Honorary Members the Prime Minister, the Deputy Prime Minister, scores of ministers, intellects and corporate leaders.




Consequently, Ben found himself in Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim’s circles when he came back from Cambridge. In the early days, he sometimes got very frustrated with the manners things were done in our society; when sometimes the most basic issue of fairness was easily put aside. He feared the direction the society was taking – much of his fear back then in one way or another manifested itself later on; especially on the part where “one day we shall be governed by our inferiors”.

He used to write a lot and telephoned me (I was in Leeds at the time) to share his frustration; nevertheless he trudged along serving IKD (Institut Kajian Dasar).

Then came the economic crisis and 1998; which was to change his path completely. While I struggled as UKEC Chairman in the UK to calm the students community due to various rumours of a possible recall by the government; Ben lobbied in Malaysia for the government not to over-react. We collaborated with MBM and PKPIM to put forward a common voice in dealing with students’ reaction to the economic crisis to resist suggestions that overseas scholars were relocated locally (among other issues championed); made possible through the MCKK connection (MBM President was Datuk Saifuddin Abdullah, Class of 78 while PKPIM General Secretary was Ahmad Shabrimi Sidek, Class of 91). The collaboration eventually led to a lasting common ground between local and overseas Malaysian students and propelled us to the heydays of reformasi in 1998.

By 1998, the political landscape changed so much. Ben and our circles had various discussions on how to navigate but we always ended up at the same point when it came to the most appropriate response – speak our mind without fear or favour. Things snowballed and by 2 September 1998, Ben chose the irreversible.

With the benefit of hindsight, he could have chosen the easy way out. Somehow I feel human beings will always find good reasons to justify the decisions they make – so if Ben had wanted to ignore his conscience; he could have opted to go with the establishment that abandoned Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. He could have seized the vacuum left and emerged as the frontrunner among the young faces in UMNO eventually, given his unrivalled intellect, charisma and oratory skills.

Yet he was never interested in power for himself, only in power as a tool to do the right thing and to effect changes. When power by itself is in conflict with the greater purpose for which the power is supposed to be exercised; he chose to abandon the prospect for power. He chose reformasi and conscience.

Ben spent his years after 1998 on a rollercoaster of adventure – the reformasi type of adventure. Our objective as concerned activists and collegians was to keep the Anwar Ibrahim story alive – in our own small ways, together with Raja Petra, Q (Class of 95) and a few others – we were among the motley crew of people who manned the last frontier inaccessible by the reach of power of the ruling regime: internet through various reformasi websites. Ben also contributed a lot to the overseas campaign to keep Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim in the limelight; given his many contacts abroad.


Eventually he did return to Malaysia and was one of the early pioneers of Pemuda keADILan, until his last posts in the party as a member of the Supreme Council (MPT) and Youth Secretary. In 2003, Ben and I decided to take a “sabbatical” leave from all party posts and went on our separate ways (as far as politics and activism was concerned). He remained very close to the opposition political pulse and frequented Kota Bharu in advisory roles on economic matters until his health deteriorated.

There were many times that I looked at Ben in melancholy especially in his final months. He was content with spending time with his little niece or entertaining some of the present debaters – what a stark difference to what could have been; for someone with gifts like his. Many times I wished that he had not chosen the path he took in 1998; so that he would be at a place where I thought he deserved. I grew restless sometimes that the society idolized certain personalities who were no match to Ben’s intellect and charisma; because the society never had the opportunity to know him in the first place. On a number of occasions, I wished that Ben had shown some sign of remorse that he had forfeited the promise of influence, power and popularity – in exchange for conscience and peace.

Ben that I know however never had a single regret of the path he had taken. Till his dying breath, never once I heard he expressed regret – his concern was always that the interest of the people and country must come over and above everyone else’s; and this he expressed with sheer eloquence in a meeting with YTM Tengku Tan Sri Razaleigh Hamzah (perhaps his last political meeting) in October 2007.




With the passing of Ben, I lost a person I regard as the best intellect and the most charismatic leader of my generation – and many who have had encounters with Ben from near or far would have agreed with me.

One person was constantly on my mind as the phone kept ringing and TV channels were flipped from one another on the night of 8 March. He was not around to witness the coming of age of fellow Malaysians – a dream that he pursued relentlessly throughout his relatively short life. Before I slept that morning, I reassured myself that though many will not remember his contribution that made 8 March 2008 possible; at least those who had worked with him will know that the choices he made had not been in vain.

PART IV

“Time passes by, Raf, and may soon overtake us. But the love is constant and only goes stronger. Even when I am gone, I will watch over you as full of pride at you as I have always been. But then you know I have always, and will always, love you above all else..”

- SMS 24 October 2007


Most articles written on Ben revolve around his intellectual and oratory prowess. I would have understood it since Ben was always a larger than life figure who left a lasting impression on people. He was truly a shooting star – most did not have much opportunity to know him better, but they will always remember the witty genius they once met.

In that perspective, I can consider myself extremely blessed to be so close to him personally since 1990. Our relationship evolved from one of a senior-junior to a mentor-apprentice to partners in crime and finally to brothers.

Initially our relationship always revolved around “work”. In MCKK – it was always about winning PPM, restructuring the “order of the day” or succession planning, then in UKEC it was always about pushing for more moderate voice with reasons beyond racial and religious lines to the point that in 1997, he once wrote to me that sometimes in the future we (he and I) should spend time to catch up on personal matters and not just work.

But of all so many virtues that Allah has blessed him with – Ben’s greatest asset was his kindness. He had a kind heart that on many occasions he never thought twice to take from his pocket and give it to others; and he never gloat about it.

He started a charity project called Kalsom with other friends in the UK to provide guidance and assistance to excellent students from rural areas in 1994. The project had been continuous since then and each year hundreds of Form 4 students from all over the country benefited. Some of these students have long started working; some of them benefited financially from Ben’s assistance during their years in university.

Fazurin (another close friend to Ben and a fellow debater) and I had always agreed that Ben “suffered” from superiority complex. Given his intellect, in public he was a larger than life character; impressing and dazzling people to the point that he could appear remote sometimes. Yet he was a gentle and considerate person in private – a trait that perhaps many did not have the opportunity to witness.

While growing up, many of us went through ups and downs; myself included. Luckily Ben was always around and would support me in any means necessary. Once when I was going through a rough patch as a young accountant struggling to qualify for my CA in London – after a messy breakdown in relationship and barely able to pay my bills with my meager pay – Ben flew all the way from Singapore just to give moral support (and took me out for dinner etc. to cheer me up) and paid my bills until I could get back on my feet. He never once mentioned about the money he paid for my rent and bills during those days in London.

And I could not be the only one whose life he had touched. There were many others; because unlike many of us – he invested in people. He believed in potential and in people’s ability to continue the good work that he had done. Somehow he always knew that he would not live long; so his energy was spent considerably in influencing and touching the lives of others whom he hoped one day could accomplish things he did not have the time to do.

Looking back, he should be proud. There are some Malay Cambridge graduates who would not have been in Cambridge without his help. He left behind a band of junior debaters in MCKK who went on to represent Malaysia (among others) and accomplished many things none of us was able to do. The UKEC as an organization produced many outstanding professionals (having benefited from the training that UKEC provided as a platform) whose contribution to the nation will continue to grow in the future. He worked tirelessly for the cause to release Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim and he held the fort for Pemuda Keadilan (together with other activists) in the face of onslaught from the opponents; so that the people after him could bring the party where it is today.

I wish many of the successful Malays would have had a passion for investing in people like him. I was partly motivated by him to start a string of projects with MCKK with the broad objective of moulding exceptional talents among our students. We follow these talented students all the way through university and into their first job. This is our only way of saying thanks to Ben – by making sure we touch many other people’s life the way he had touched ours.

I only have one regret with Ben – that I never reciprocate his time and efforts for me, as I was too busy pursuing my own things. After we took the “sabbatical” leave from partisan politics, we went separate ways. I concentrated on my duty as a corporate slave and part time MCKK coach, he was with his stuff. Along the way his health deteriorated and he kept it from me (and I was never bothered to check up on him regularly). We still talked on the phone once in a while, but the frequency got less and less over time.

After PPM 2007, I wanted to see him just to vent my frustration with the way things were – as I was frustrated with the system, MCKK and even the team. It was only then that I knew he had just been out of the ICU. He had always been in and out of hospital and I visited him once in a while, but that was the first time he was discharged from an ICU.

I remember that day – despite his difficulty and pain, he spent some time cheering me up and going through all the jokes and experiences that we went through in our many adventures, as if reflecting. It was then that I knew that his time was short.

I was glad that I had the opportunity to make it up somehow to him over the next few months – that I spent more time with him after work; mostly to cheer him up. But things deteriorated very quickly and by end of December 2007 – doctors felt that nothing much could be done for him.


In his last few weeks, he stopped talking. I would like to think that it was his resignation that he would go away and was reflecting; though sometimes I could not help but wonder whether he was angry. On 17 January 2008 – his last birthday – I brought him a card around midnight as we (the family and I) were not sure whether it was a good idea; but we thought it was worth trying to cheer him up. He did not read that night and the torrential tears that I had when he was indifferent to the card was the worst so far; as I desperately needed to believe that I had not let him down and he was not angry.

The next day his sister called me to tell me that he read the card twice and I cannot describe how happy I was. I thought that I could make a difference in assisting him to fight his illnesses, so I started writing a letter in the manner he used to write so many letters to me. I wanted to leave a letter each day to him to encourage and motivate him; to remind him of what a wonderful friendship the last 17 years had been.

I never managed to pass the first letter to him – by Saturday his health deteriorated so much that it became clear that his time would be in a matter of days. He passed away one week after his birthday and the only people around were his mother, sister, grandmother and Ezam Mohd Nor. Rizal (who had been looking after him all these years), Dany (fellow debater from Class of 90 and the closest to him from Class of 90) and myself were not around; we were at work.

The last meaningful thing that I said to him was through the birthday card, part of which was as follows (from whatever I could recall):

“.. I am sorry for all the years of neglect, for all the years of taking you for granted..
..You are the only person I ever look up to and I simply cannot contemplate life without you yet…
.. Once you wrote to me that when there was only one set of footsteps on the beach; that was because God carried the man through – so will He with you…
… As you always told me – “this too shall pass”…
… for whatever it is worth, Happy Birthday Abang…”


Ben left behind too big a vacuum that it is irreplaceable. Yet many will remember him for the kindness, the inspiration, the lessons, the assistance and the privilege of knowing him in the first place. Rest Ben, Insya Allah our prayers will never leave you alone.

Adlan Benan Omar, Mohd Shah House (Class of 90) read History and Law in Cambridge. He was an investment banker by career and historian by passion. Rafizi Ramli, Sulaiman House (Class of 94) was the Union president and Carey Award winner in 1994. He was trained as an engineer and is currently an accountant by practice.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Rancangan Class of 94 Untuk Calon Parlimen


Kami dari batch under achiever telah membuat keputusan untuk mempastikan top achiever kami - Syed Khalid AlJunid - untuk jadi wakil batch kami di Parlimen in the future sebab dia ada kena mengena (pertalian darah) dengan Syed Moto dan seorang ahli Board of Governors koleq.

Ini plan Khalid nak pi ke Parlimen:

" cantik. aku akan pastikan takde videoclip lagi yang boleh menjebakkan aku.

aku masuk parti yang fadhil masuk jugak, so fadhil sponsor.

in terms of legal, pokpek and epit ada.

rough jadi campaign manager and cibix n kalai jadi entertainer.

aiwa supporter kuat, nik jadi SB spy team lawan.

ezrin untuk mursyidul am, ikram untuk latihan moral, spiritual dan fizikal penyokong.

syed moto untuk angkat aku bila dah menang so senang kamera nak tangkap gambar.

radin buat tshirt dan untuk proses2 pelinciran.

awie , laa'ba spread propaganda through email, internet and 3g.

bochap untuk handle catering kenduri kenduri.

camat, hazerk untuk bagi sarcastic remarks kat opponent.

rifdi, mattop tangkap gambar and videokan opponent dlm keadaan memalukan.

i have a great team!

aku bertanding lagi 10 tahun, aged 41 bila nampak macho dan mampu beli botox and by that time dah ada teknologi untuk jadi lebih tinggi."

Waaaa we have a great plan! Kalau payah jugak nak menang, batch kami akan gunakan budak2 debaters, anak-anak itik/budak hoki & budak2 yg kami bagi scholarship/career talk naik bas kilang pi jadi pengundi hantu (sbb indelible ink smpai bila2 takkan implement, next election nya excuse lak "ia tak boleh dilaksanakan demi menjaga populasi sotong2").

KAMI UNITE, FECT!
(jerit ala2 Common Room or fire drill)

Buat permulaan, silalah nyatakan komen anda sebagai tanda sokongan kepada Khalid sebagai calon Parlimen dari the under achieving batch!

ps: Gambar di atas adalah poster Khalid tanpa perlu menggunakan botoks. Menurut beliau juga, ketahanan beliau di ranjang juga menyamai Chua Soi Lek tetapi tanpa perlu menggunakan Viagra dan sebagainya, tidak seperti suspicion bahawa bekas Menteri Kesihatan buat aksi ranjang itu sbg sebahagian tugasnya untuk test ubat-ubat kuat yang masuk ke Malaysia.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Mighty Ducks: End of Season


So it all ended this week for the first batch of the Duckies (technically Class of 07 was the first batch but we didn’t have much opportunity to have big impact with them, compared with the current Form 5) – we lost 2-0 to Clifford (for the record, we lost 6-1 to Clifford last year).

We picked the current Form 5 boys almost at the same time last year – we were struggling to establish our presence, authority and most importantly to gain their trust; they were struggling with every aspect of the game back then. The modus operandi that we had to settle i.e. ‘remote control’ coaching was not to the liking of some of them but that was the best that we could offer then, as it is now. Either way that’s the best anyone had ever done for them for the last few years – so while a minority felt unease with our presence, generally the rest was just happy that someone actually cared about their game.


But what I learnt over the past 5 years with the college boys is that love and trust takes time. And that love and trust has to be gained; it’s a result of sweat and toil that you put in.

I made a promise on behalf of the Bapak Itiks (ha ha much to the shock of everyone in TAR Hall that day) that we would be with them for their games even when no one else was around.

We delivered our promise with the Class of 08 boys (CO08) for their maiden tournament in the SBP’s North Zone, April 2007. I remember the morning we left KL (and Idzam was having difficulty explaining to his young children at 5 am in the morning that he was going to Sungei Petani for a hockey game!) and sped towards Sungei Petani (with Epit, Badut and Idzam; joined by Pak Tuan who was already waiting in Sungei Petani).


The drama that took place before we finally qualified to the national level (by a razor thin margin!) was something that none of us will forget; what with the un-gentlemen jeering from STAR (“MC KO MC KO”), a series of draws that earned us the nickname “The Draw King” (which continues to dog the team till the end), SM (a key player) breaking his hand after an emotional game and many others. But Sungei Petani in April 2007 was more than just a tournament in my book – it was the turning point that earned us their love and respect. The kids understood that we meant business and we would be with them till the end.

It was a lot easier after that – more of strengthening the bond rather than building the foundation. The camping and turf training in Ipoh in June 2007 left memories that only us and CO08 can and will appreciate. By the time we were in the semi final of the national level, koleq team had gone from the underdog to the top seed – everyone in Kuantan actually believed and expected us to win all the way.


But Rome was not built in one day; and surely we (bapak-bapak and anak-anak itik) cannot undo almost a decade worth of neglect in one month. Despite the improvement (which is typical of college boys when you give them a reason to believe in themselves), a winning team needs more than just a zeal to win – they need strong basic skills, match exposure and killer instinct to win; which a team of 3-month old couldn’t give especially when they are up against teams which had had proper planning all those years. Finally we lost the penalty flick to the eventual national champion after a goalless draw (our niche so it has become by then).

The next four months in 2007 were spent building the continuity for future years. We even had to buy hockey sticks for the juniors to encourage them to play in addition to the frequent visits to Kuala Kangsar. The series of training was capped with the Mighty Ducks Cup games in Manjong (which is an annual trip to Manjong after this, a sort of escapism for the boys from the hectic schedule of MCKK at the end of the year).

By the time we went to the USM Open (the biggest invitational hockey tournament for schools in Malaysia) in December, the boys and us were no longer strangers. We even made a point to stay with them in dormitories by then because we needed to prove that we would go down that low as much as we needed them to put in their best efforts to make the arrangement works.

Given this background, one can understand (hopefully) the hopes and emotions that we and the boys had going into 2008. We wanted to see the boys win and they wanted to win if only to deliver their part of the bargain (apart from the desire to finally taste the sweetness of victory).


Training started very early with the CO08 boys – in second week of January, a week after the school reopened. We went back twice and despite the setback of losing the best player in the team who was also the captain – the team soldiered on and reorganised themselves. They also had 2 friendly matches before the first test against RMC.

The match against RMC was a family affair – we were families to the boys; and we brought our families to watch the game. All of us (apart from Wong, Chamat and Epit – who couldn’t make it for various commitments) were there; even Chibiok who was previously always away on the platform each time there was a program with the boys! The atmosphere was one of a family gathering – I know it may sound too much, but it was as if we were watching our children playing their game on the turf.

It was a balance game – equal attacking and defence by both sides, though koleq had more control of the overall game. But we drew 1-1 as always. With hindsight, I would have told the boys that they did well; given that RMC played on turf all the time and went on to win the Bangsar district (defeating the likes of VI and Vivekananda) while the boys had to contend with a hockey field whose grass was barely cut that we had to practice on a takraw court instead! RMC had a full time coach while ours is a rag tag team of part time coaches giving instruction from KL; with the kids left to their devices all the time.

In our book, it was certainly an improvement because last year we lost – and this year on average we controlled the game.


With that spirit, the boys went into the MSSD Kuala Kangsar this week for the eventual showdown with Clifford. To the uninitiated out there – in the 80s and 90s MCKK had dominated the hockey scene in Perak (until mid 80s) and Kuala Kangsar. The scores for some of the games I watched went as high as 20-0 back then. But lately, the last time MCKK defeated Clifford (another premier school older than us across the street) was in 2004.

The last one year was a build up to this week to break the psychological barrier.

KNO and Canoe looked after the boys for the first day of the tournament.

They lost to Clifford 2-1 – however they came back from trailing 2-0 to score a goal; a feat they had not displayed before. Due to the various circumstances (e.g. the best player who used to play centre quit the team, the current captain Topoi couldn’t play because he broke his hand in the RMC match) the boys were having some difficulty adjusting to the new positions; which Clifford capitalised well. Despite this, KNO was impressed with their game and believed that they could beat Clifford in the final.

The next 2 games against Methodist and Datuk Wahab were won handsomely so as expected, it was a repeat of the 2005, 2006 and 2007 finals i.e. MCKK versus Clifford.


Badut and I finally made the decision to be with the boys – partly because somehow we felt the boys would have won this year, partly because we knew it would have meant so much for them for us to be there; but mostly (as intimated between the two of us in the 200 kmph drive to and fro Sungei Siput) because we love them. Badut and I just didn’t have the heart to leave them on their own; going through the biggest game of the year and the finale to their 5-year hockey career in MCKK.

It was one of the craziest things Badut and I had ever done; to treat Sungei Siput as if it was a drive from Subang Jaya to USJ!

But we were there and I would like to think it meant a lot to them; as it was to us.

Everything started well – we had the psychological advantage because it was clear that Clifford feared us; having been through the earlier game knowing full well that it was a revitalised MCKK team determined to deny them another trophy. You could see their nervousness during the warm up and during the briefing while our boys were calm and composed. In one year, at least we had managed to change the mindset of our boys that we have no one to fear each time we go to tournament compared to their constant nervousness before each game last year.

Somehow we picked up late at the initial stage of the match – that Clifford scored one of the most lousy goals ever to have passed through our net! It was not even 10 minutes into the game. The boys picked up instantly after that that the next 30 minutes was our game – with attacks after attacks. Unfortunately we just couldn’t convert into goals despite a few short corners given to us.

The second half was a flip flop of attack-defence between both teams. We attacked; they defended well; they came for a goal and we repelled them. In went on almost until the end but finally Clifford scored another goal. So it was 2-0.


The boys were definitely devastated. Badut and I had to rush straight away so we didn’t have the time to be with them after the game unlike before. But I know some of them went to cry in the toilet. Even when the end was getting closer, Anding and Yuri (on the reserve bench) kept looking at Badut and I – I had coached MCKK teams long enough to know that it was a look of guilt and pity; that they didn’t win. Anding was as if trying to ascertain whether we were disappointed in them; at least that was my interpretation of his look then.

Were we disappointed having made that journey only to see them lost?

Not at all, Badut and I actually were proud of the game. Of the boys. Full satisfaction. Both of us did not have a single regret for the journey that day or for every single hour we have spent with the CO08 ducklings.

The thing about us budak koleq is that sometimes in our hurry to achieve what we set out initially; we rarely pause to reflect. The boys certainly did not reflect that a game in hockey (or football for that matter) between Clifford and MCKK is almost similar to that of Goliath and David (with MCKK being the proverbial David!).

On one hand, Clifford is a school whose full obsession and resources was on hockey. They selected the best hockey players from Perak (well, some went to Anderson of course) and brought these boys to the school from Form 1. They invested hundreds of thousands in their hockey program – participating in the National Junior Hockey League (and a strong contender at that) and various other tournaments. They have full time coaches and train every single day.

MCKK on the other hand – is a school where hockey is not even considered a major game. If we had not come back in 2007 – there might not even be a permanent hockey team. MCKK would have resorted to the usual tactic of assembling a team 3-4 weeks before the MSSD tournament. We didn’t have jerseys and the hockey field was barely fit for the game.

What most people ignore or forget – is defeating Clifford in hockey is not that much different from defeating Vajiravudh in rugby, in today’s term given the circumstances! I know the shock on everyone’s face when they found out that we lost to Clifford year after year (and some would launch into a tirade of boasting of how his batch won the state championship, or that championship yada yada yada); but after one year following the team – all of us now accept the fact that we are paying the price of the neglect all these years while Clifford continued to invest during those period.

In life – we reap what we sow. Clifford had channelled all the necessary resources and focus into hockey. As a result, they have a much better team.

It was unfair if we had won against Clifford on all accounts, because they were a better team. In much the same way it was unfair if we had defeated SERATAS at the national level, because SERATAS was a better team given the efforts they put in.

Yet we should not eclipse the fact that the boys put a bloody tough fight that earned them the respect of these teams; given all the inadequacies (though the other teams do not know all the constraints we have to go through).

So it is in that perspective that I pay tribute to the CO08 ducklings – the first batch of MCKK hockey players that we look after. They have come from the lowest to rise to be in the same league as the bests in a matter of one year. That took courage, determination and most importantly love – love for the game, love for the team and love for every value that we tried to teach them throughout the last one year.

I spoke to Ben and Abe after the game and they were still sad especially at the realisation that it was the last tournament of their career as a hockey player. That they could not deliver what they set out to achieve (and promise to us).


I will say this to all the boys I did not have the opportunity to speak, as I told both of them the other night.

That in life, we should not judge ourselves against other people’s unrealistic expectation especially when such expectation was made through sheer ignorance. We should only be judged with how we make the best of the limited time and space given to us.

On both accounts, you boys have given your best and had risen beyond what we expected of you given the limitations. If I were you, that’s all that matter – because you were not meant to be a professional hockey player like some of the Clifford boys are; the whole journey was not about winning.

It was about learning what life is all about and that for every one door that closes, another one will open. And we all hope you have had a meaningful life in MCKK from your hockey experience.

TRIBUTE TO CLASS OF 08

Topoi – for the coolness and leadership at the time when leadership was needed most; for all the experiences in clinics and hospitals that we had to spend with you

Abe – for the love and respect you give to us despite your difficulty of ever showing it

Sham – for the non-ending smile and for being the sweetest among the smelliest

SM – for your commitment and courage to change to do what is necessary; for one of the most powerful hits on the pitch each time you play

Ben – for being voted the most good looking and the sheer improvement from the nervous-wrecked defender to the games you play nowadays

Kay – for proving that you can be as much a part of MCKK even if you join 3 years later and for the best attacking moments for the team

Farid – for the worst hairdo; the jokes and the strength on the field never to give up even when you should have collapsed

Acap – for a bloody good job at clearing the ball all the time and for the decency and kindness and politeness

Hairy – for the loyalty and unending effort for the team (and perhaps the few in the team whose doa will be received by God!)

Ferd – for the sheer determination to improve and improve you did! For the memories of staying with us in the big bungalow in Kuantan

Afiq – for the showmanship in Sg Petani and all the subsequent games; for contributing so much to the team that without you our opponent’s score would have matched the basketball games’

Anding – for being the poster boy for the team (ha ha) with your green eyes, for providing so much fun and entertainment throughout the time we spent with you

Yuri – for being Yuri (who missed every single game that we planned until the RMC and MSSD games ha ha) and for your smile all the time

Am – for your love of the game; for looking after your batch’s team all this while and leading them to the pinnacle of achievement in Kuantan

Amin – for your politeness and efforts; for being the only one of the two who could keep up with Chamat’s running

One batch is leaving (hopefully some of them will continue what we started); the journey with the Class of 09 boys has just started.

FOOTNOTE

Despite the lack of tangible results in tournaments, at least hockey is definitely back on the map in MCKK – the joke going around among the teachers is that the hockey team is quite well endowed that they have too many jersey to the point they can rent the jerseys out to the teacher’s team! Hopefully more will be attracted to play in future years and we will defeat Clifford in the not so distant future.

More photos at KNO’s Flickr; more stories at knizam.com